"What is love to you?" -A friend asked me a some years ago. I wrote a whole page of ideas to explain it, but now I read them and they seem empty, pointless.
Is it because I don't know what love is? Maybe; but once I've heard that love is everything that is written about it. It ca be butterflies in your stomach, a warm feeling in your chest, a fast heartbeat, a sensation of peace, or everything together.
So, why am I writing again about it? Well, I need to join the rest of the human kind and try to write down my thoughts about it.
I have been wishing for love for so long, but do I know what am I wishing for? I want to feel alive, have a reason to laugh for no reason, I want to fly without wings. Maybe I'm just a helpless romantic loser but I really miss that feeling.
I've been searching for love in Hollywood shape. In the form of that Mr. Perfect that has all the characteristics of a superheroe and the lloks of that cute actor you're fan of.
But I was so wrong all this time... I had it in front of my nose and I couldn't appreciate it. What is bigger than the love of my parents, being there for me even when I don't deserve it? Giving me their support when all I'm expecting -not wanting- is a big scolding? Or two married people dealing with each other's weaknesses for decades? Love is blind, they say. But it is also deaf to harsh words and mute when the situation requires it.
Some people say it's just getting used to... But can you really get used to someone towards you don't have the slightest affection?
Most of the times love doesn't require much. That's why it is so complicated. We like complex things.
Like in my case. I have found my Mr. Perfect. That someone that I always wished for. But he's not for me... I'm not for him. So, what can I do? Nothing. Just walk away wishing the best for him and for me. Maybe someday I can clone him just for me, and yet it doesn't assure me an everlasting happiness.
Yeah, yeah... I know you are thinking "how stupid", "fight for him". Maybe if I try harder, maybe if I push a bit more, maybe if... There's no "maybes". Things went this way and I always try hard to get what I want, but not when it has to deal with people's feelings. In these cases I never push.
I like him a lot and sometimes he makes me think that I'm not alone in this feeling. Maybe I'm not but for some reason he can't follow his heart, or maybe I am totally wrong and he's just being friendly. I wish he was indifferent to me. Anyways, I know that I can't be waiting for him forever. He made a decision and I won't force anything.
It might seem a waste. Isn't it? You don't meet your soulmate everyday, I'm just glad of having found him. It gives me some faith in life. I guess we weren't meant to be together in this life, so I hope the next time is the right one :P
I am being positive, but still it's sad. It's like trying to reach a star. You can see it, its light illuminates your nights yet you cannot reach it even if you try with all your strenght. And it's just there for your eyes. FYEO.
Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to find someone to replace the one that I couldn't have. I would hurt too many people. But I also don't want to spend my life alone, being afraid and letting go some opportunities to meet Mr. Really Perfect :)
So this is how I come up to the conclusion that love is not only butterflies and heartbeats, but it's also sweet pain, forgiveness and moving on even when you know that you're leaving behind what possibly is "the love of your life".
I wrote this some time ago, and I was kind of afraid/shy/centered to publish it, but I thought someone might find it useful and I'm in an "I don't care" mood. So, here it is! Hope you enjoyed reading,
- Lorena
December 19, 2004
Resurrection
I know it's been long since the last time I wrote, but I've been in a really deep shit. This is just a stupid blog and not a journal. I don't need to explain why I stopped writing all this time but I've been checking the visitors log and found out that there are people who visit the site regulary, looking for updates, I guess. So I feel that I need to write something... and this "something" is the explanation of why I've been lost.
I almost gave up my life here, leaving everything behind. I still want to, but I'm trying to hold myself, try a bit harder, as if it weren't hard enough already.
I've been locked in my room for a whole month, not talking to anyone, sleeping for days and not eating properly. I just couldn't eat.
I have had tachicardia, fast breathing, lack of air, oppressed chest. So I finally went to the hospital and saw a neurologist. Whilst I was in the waiting room I saw very ill people, sad & lost faces; the type of people you see in a mental institute. It was a "mental" wing after all. I felt sad for them, but then I realized I was one of them and still couldn't think of not belonging there. I was at the right place, that's the saddest part.
But not everything is bad. In these moments I found so many people who cared about me and helped me a lot. I feel really grateful and, at the same time, hopeless and miserable. Why can't I just change? All these nice people don't deserve my pathetic behaviour... But I can't help it, I am deeply sorry! I'm just helpless. A sad loser.
I was under medication and saw no results. Well, who knows, maybe it actually worked, that's why I'm writing this.
Sorry for not writing nice stuff, but I thought it's just fair to write about not-nice-stuff. Life is a rollercoaster and I am Bipolar.
I almost gave up my life here, leaving everything behind. I still want to, but I'm trying to hold myself, try a bit harder, as if it weren't hard enough already.
I've been locked in my room for a whole month, not talking to anyone, sleeping for days and not eating properly. I just couldn't eat.
I have had tachicardia, fast breathing, lack of air, oppressed chest. So I finally went to the hospital and saw a neurologist. Whilst I was in the waiting room I saw very ill people, sad & lost faces; the type of people you see in a mental institute. It was a "mental" wing after all. I felt sad for them, but then I realized I was one of them and still couldn't think of not belonging there. I was at the right place, that's the saddest part.
But not everything is bad. In these moments I found so many people who cared about me and helped me a lot. I feel really grateful and, at the same time, hopeless and miserable. Why can't I just change? All these nice people don't deserve my pathetic behaviour... But I can't help it, I am deeply sorry! I'm just helpless. A sad loser.
I was under medication and saw no results. Well, who knows, maybe it actually worked, that's why I'm writing this.
Sorry for not writing nice stuff, but I thought it's just fair to write about not-nice-stuff. Life is a rollercoaster and I am Bipolar.
October 18, 2004
Starry night in Tokyo!
After a long time of cloudy/unclear sky nights, I've seen a beautiful starry night in Tokyo. I guess this is what I love about winter nights.
I've counted more than 50 stars, including Orion's belt, which is rare in downtown Tokyo. 50 is not a big number from where I come but when you feel homesick it's a quite good number :) This good news in one hand, but in the other, we've felt 2 long earthquakes in less than 3 hours :(
I know I used to enjoy the small eqs when I was in Osaka, but these are too many and I kinda start worrying about a BIG one like they predict. So far I put down all the heavy stuff near the floor level and made sure to put my lantern and emergency canned food somewhere I can reach easily. I also cleaned up my messy room, so in case of a catastrophe the ones who have to rescue me can find me immediately. Otherwise they would have to dig into a real mess (they'd think that my room was affected not only by an eartquake, but also a bomb, a typhoon and some civil war!).
Anyways, I found a good reason to organize things around here.
I've counted more than 50 stars, including Orion's belt, which is rare in downtown Tokyo. 50 is not a big number from where I come but when you feel homesick it's a quite good number :) This good news in one hand, but in the other, we've felt 2 long earthquakes in less than 3 hours :(
I know I used to enjoy the small eqs when I was in Osaka, but these are too many and I kinda start worrying about a BIG one like they predict. So far I put down all the heavy stuff near the floor level and made sure to put my lantern and emergency canned food somewhere I can reach easily. I also cleaned up my messy room, so in case of a catastrophe the ones who have to rescue me can find me immediately. Otherwise they would have to dig into a real mess (they'd think that my room was affected not only by an eartquake, but also a bomb, a typhoon and some civil war!).
Anyways, I found a good reason to organize things around here.
October 17, 2004
Fixing Win XP SP 2 unsuccessful installation
Last Friday, a friend tried to install Service Pack 2 for Windows XP but the computer crashed before the installation was completed. Normally, the system should have undone all the unsuccessful installation and left the OS in its original state. But instead, the next time she booted WinXP an error read "Explorer.EXE - Entry Point Not Found - The procedure entry point SHCreateThreadRef could not be located in the dynamic link library SHLWAPI.dll" and the only thing we could see was her desktop with no icons, no taskbar, only the mouse cursor. I tried to find a solution in Microsoft's site, but no luck. I also tried searching in google but still no solution. So I started to try some alternative methods like making changes from the command prompt. I thought of replacing the SHLWAPI.dll (which was calling some SP2 tasks) with a dll file from a SP1 computer. I think it might have worked, but the computer wouldn't recognize any of the usb devices (memory stick - floppy drive) so I wasn't able to do it.
Then we tried to use the recovery cd that came along with her computer but it showed another error with and FDI file so it wasn't possible to do it that way either. So I tried to uninstall SP2 manually from the DOS but there was one file missing or corrupted (I guess it was the shlwapi.dll). By this point I though that I couldn't fix it myself (which would hurt my pride AND my friend's pocket.. hahaha). Anyways, I kept on trying on google, going from link to link until I found a nice blog http://weblogs.asp.net/ I couldn't fix it immediately as it was said there, but then they helped me to find my way :D
The solution is (for those who have the same problem):
1. Boot WinXP in normal mode.
2. In the desktop open the Task Manager (Ctrl + Alt + Del)
3. From the Task Manager open a new process and type "control appwiz.cpl" and click OK. This will open the Add/Remove Programs Control Panel (many message windows will appear, just click OK)
4. Once in the Add/Remove Programs Control Panel, find the "Windows XP Hotfix – KB834707" entry. It should be among the Windows XP hotfixes, not in the SP2 ones.
5. Restart.
Now your computer should boot normally, but you still have to go to Add/Remove Programs and uninstall completely SP2. Then go to http://www.microsoft.com/sp2install for instructions to install SP2.
That's all folks !! (end of the headache, a nice high fives and jumping around with Monette :D)
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
After this problem was solved, Microsoft updated their site with the instructions on how to repair unsuccessful SP2 installations. A bit late grgrgrgrg !!
Anyways, the information they provide is the same and you can read it here http://support.microsoft.com/kb/888162
Then we tried to use the recovery cd that came along with her computer but it showed another error with and FDI file so it wasn't possible to do it that way either. So I tried to uninstall SP2 manually from the DOS but there was one file missing or corrupted (I guess it was the shlwapi.dll). By this point I though that I couldn't fix it myself (which would hurt my pride AND my friend's pocket.. hahaha). Anyways, I kept on trying on google, going from link to link until I found a nice blog http://weblogs.asp.net/ I couldn't fix it immediately as it was said there, but then they helped me to find my way :D
The solution is (for those who have the same problem):
1. Boot WinXP in normal mode.
2. In the desktop open the Task Manager (Ctrl + Alt + Del)
3. From the Task Manager open a new process and type "control appwiz.cpl" and click OK. This will open the Add/Remove Programs Control Panel (many message windows will appear, just click OK)
4. Once in the Add/Remove Programs Control Panel, find the "Windows XP Hotfix – KB834707" entry. It should be among the Windows XP hotfixes, not in the SP2 ones.
5. Restart.
Now your computer should boot normally, but you still have to go to Add/Remove Programs and uninstall completely SP2. Then go to http://www.microsoft.com/sp2install for instructions to install SP2.
That's all folks !! (end of the headache, a nice high fives and jumping around with Monette :D)
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
After this problem was solved, Microsoft updated their site with the instructions on how to repair unsuccessful SP2 installations. A bit late grgrgrgrg !!
Anyways, the information they provide is the same and you can read it here http://support.microsoft.com/kb/888162
October 08, 2004
Days in Nagano
I spent last week in Nagano in a sort of study camp to prepare for our Interior Coordinator qualification exam. I didn't expect it to be fun, but I also didn't expect it to be so boring. Waking up at 6, studying the whole day until 23.30, it was really exhausting. The last day we had a sports' day and we played volleyball and basketball, which I didn't do for a long time. I enjoyed that, but I wanted to play more!! I miss the old good days at high school playing volley and soccer every freetime we had. We're not young anymore :(
And after that, we had 2 hours to walk around the city, which is really nice. It has a little bit of Kyoto (maybe the old houses and the Zenkoji Temple in the middle of the city) but something in it was new. It also had some european air (even though I've never been to Europe, I'm just comparing it to the "image" of Europe that I have). I think I'd like the city better in winter, yuppy !!
We went by shinkansen (bullet train) and it was my first time taking it... I can say it wasn't much out of this world experience as I expected. The best thing of my trip to Nagano was Gunma.. !! (?!)
I went to a friend's place in Maebashi, Gunma prefecture, she took me to her favorite coffee shop in her hometown, we drove around, we went to gaze some stars along a river, it almost felt like home! We climbed a little mountain in the middle of the darkness and saw some glowflies. It was really nice!
I can't say I'm a country girl, but I'm not as city girl as I thought... I need more stars in my nights.
And after that, we had 2 hours to walk around the city, which is really nice. It has a little bit of Kyoto (maybe the old houses and the Zenkoji Temple in the middle of the city) but something in it was new. It also had some european air (even though I've never been to Europe, I'm just comparing it to the "image" of Europe that I have). I think I'd like the city better in winter, yuppy !!
We went by shinkansen (bullet train) and it was my first time taking it... I can say it wasn't much out of this world experience as I expected. The best thing of my trip to Nagano was Gunma.. !! (?!)
I went to a friend's place in Maebashi, Gunma prefecture, she took me to her favorite coffee shop in her hometown, we drove around, we went to gaze some stars along a river, it almost felt like home! We climbed a little mountain in the middle of the darkness and saw some glowflies. It was really nice!
I can't say I'm a country girl, but I'm not as city girl as I thought... I need more stars in my nights.
September 26, 2004
Life after birth
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the womb. Seconds, minutes, hours passed as the two embryonic lives developed.
The spark of life grew and each tiny brain began to take shape and form. With the development of their brain came feeling, and with feeling, perception--a perception of surroundings, of each other, and their own lives. They discovered that life was good and they laughed and rejoiced in their hearts.
One said to the other, "We are so lucky to have been conceived and to have this wonderful world."
The other chimed in, "Yes, blessed be our mother who gave us life and each other."
Each of the twins continued to grow and soon their arms and fingers, legs and toes began to take shape. They stretched their bodies and churned and turned in their little world. They explored it and found the life cord which gave them life from their mother's blood. They were grateful for this new discovery and sang, "How great is the love of our mother - that she shares all she has with us!".
Weeks passed into months and with the advent of each new month, they noticed a change in each other and in themselves."We are changing," one said. "What can it mean?"
"It means", said the other, "that we are drawing near to birth."
An unsettling chill crept over the two. They were afraid of birth, for they knew that it meant leaving their wonderful world behind.
Said the one, "Were it up to me, I would live here forever."
"But we must be born," said the other. "It has happened to all the others". Indeed, there was evidence inside the womb that the mother had carried life before theirs. "And I believe that there is life after birth, don't you?"
"How can there be life after birth?" cried the one. "Do we not shed our life cord and also the blood tissue when we are born? And have you ever talked to anyone that has been born? Has anyone ever re-entered the womb after birth to describe what birth is like? NO!"
As he spoke, he fell into despair, and in his despair he moaned, "If he purpose of conception and our growth inside the womb is to end in birth, then truly our life is senseless."
He clutched his precious life cord to his breast and said, "And if this is so, and life is absurd, then there really can be no mothers!"
"But there is a mother", protested the other. "Who else gave us nourishment? Who else created this world for us?"
"We get our nourishment from this cord -- and our world has always been here," said the one. "And if there is a mother -- where is she? Have you ever seen her? Does she ever talk to you? No! We invented the mother when we were young because it satisfied a need in us. It made us feel secure and happy."
Thus, while the one raved and despaired, the other resigned himself to birth and placed his trust in the hands of his mother. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. And soon it was time. They both knew their birth was at hand, and they both feared what they did not know.
As the one was first to be conceived, so he was the first to be born, the other following.
They cried as they were born into the light. They coughed out fluid and gasped the dry air. And when they were sure they had been born, they opened their eyes -- seeing life after birth for the very first time. What they saw was the beautiful eyes of their mother, as they were cradled lovingly in her arms. They were home.
Author Unknown
I just wanted to share this text with those who didn't have the chance to read it before. Nice point of view, don't you think?
The spark of life grew and each tiny brain began to take shape and form. With the development of their brain came feeling, and with feeling, perception--a perception of surroundings, of each other, and their own lives. They discovered that life was good and they laughed and rejoiced in their hearts.
One said to the other, "We are so lucky to have been conceived and to have this wonderful world."
The other chimed in, "Yes, blessed be our mother who gave us life and each other."
Each of the twins continued to grow and soon their arms and fingers, legs and toes began to take shape. They stretched their bodies and churned and turned in their little world. They explored it and found the life cord which gave them life from their mother's blood. They were grateful for this new discovery and sang, "How great is the love of our mother - that she shares all she has with us!".
Weeks passed into months and with the advent of each new month, they noticed a change in each other and in themselves."We are changing," one said. "What can it mean?"
"It means", said the other, "that we are drawing near to birth."
An unsettling chill crept over the two. They were afraid of birth, for they knew that it meant leaving their wonderful world behind.
Said the one, "Were it up to me, I would live here forever."
"But we must be born," said the other. "It has happened to all the others". Indeed, there was evidence inside the womb that the mother had carried life before theirs. "And I believe that there is life after birth, don't you?"
"How can there be life after birth?" cried the one. "Do we not shed our life cord and also the blood tissue when we are born? And have you ever talked to anyone that has been born? Has anyone ever re-entered the womb after birth to describe what birth is like? NO!"
As he spoke, he fell into despair, and in his despair he moaned, "If he purpose of conception and our growth inside the womb is to end in birth, then truly our life is senseless."
He clutched his precious life cord to his breast and said, "And if this is so, and life is absurd, then there really can be no mothers!"
"But there is a mother", protested the other. "Who else gave us nourishment? Who else created this world for us?"
"We get our nourishment from this cord -- and our world has always been here," said the one. "And if there is a mother -- where is she? Have you ever seen her? Does she ever talk to you? No! We invented the mother when we were young because it satisfied a need in us. It made us feel secure and happy."
Thus, while the one raved and despaired, the other resigned himself to birth and placed his trust in the hands of his mother. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. And soon it was time. They both knew their birth was at hand, and they both feared what they did not know.
As the one was first to be conceived, so he was the first to be born, the other following.
They cried as they were born into the light. They coughed out fluid and gasped the dry air. And when they were sure they had been born, they opened their eyes -- seeing life after birth for the very first time. What they saw was the beautiful eyes of their mother, as they were cradled lovingly in her arms. They were home.
Author Unknown
I just wanted to share this text with those who didn't have the chance to read it before. Nice point of view, don't you think?
September 25, 2004
Lorena says her back hurts,
And she's just as bored as me
She caught me off my guard
It amazes me, the will of instinct [...]
I wish it was only this, but now it's been more than three weeks that my back really hurts. I thought I had a bad sleep but I realised that it hurts more and more every time I sleep.
I didn't think it was something to worry about, but today I was commenting it to a classmate and she asked me where was hurting the most, because it can be something internal and not only muscular. How come I didn't think about it? It can be something related to my lungs ... I don't know, maybe I just need a good massage :P
Changing the subject, I had creative days lately. I've been drawing a lot, designing some layouts, writing some stuff and I decided to participate in Tokyo Design Festa in March, 2005. I wanted to participate in November, but I don't have enough works to exhibit and I want to show something good. I'm also trying go make some money to buy a good printer and afford a scanner, but let's see because I also need to save some money to move in March.
It's almost 5.30 am and I still can't sleep... I'm really tired but my eyes won't close! Maybe it's just the excitement of all the things I want to do, starting today... Yesterday afternoon I got my scholarship and finally I will be able to pay all my debts, so I'm eager to go to the bank and get rid of those bills. I know it means that I will be in bankrupcy again, but the satisfaction of not owing anything to anyone worths it.
I was thinking on writing down some of the things I'm learning at school, which I consider really cool, but I guess nobody wants to know about types of paint, painting techiniques, architecture laws in Japan, product certification, etc. So I guess I'll start another blog for this kind of stuff. Aaargh, I write too much but I cannot help it !
Few days ago I found a nice site www.clientcopia.com . It has tons of quotes from clients of designers... I've been laughing a lot, some are really atonishing, I was nodding almost all the time... you don't know what kind of people you have to deal with when you adventure yourself to the web-world :)
So long ! Don't spend too much time in that link as I did... I couldn't sleep until I finished reading the whole 613 quotes (and still growing!)
She caught me off my guard
It amazes me, the will of instinct [...]
I wish it was only this, but now it's been more than three weeks that my back really hurts. I thought I had a bad sleep but I realised that it hurts more and more every time I sleep.
I didn't think it was something to worry about, but today I was commenting it to a classmate and she asked me where was hurting the most, because it can be something internal and not only muscular. How come I didn't think about it? It can be something related to my lungs ... I don't know, maybe I just need a good massage :P
Changing the subject, I had creative days lately. I've been drawing a lot, designing some layouts, writing some stuff and I decided to participate in Tokyo Design Festa in March, 2005. I wanted to participate in November, but I don't have enough works to exhibit and I want to show something good. I'm also trying go make some money to buy a good printer and afford a scanner, but let's see because I also need to save some money to move in March.
It's almost 5.30 am and I still can't sleep... I'm really tired but my eyes won't close! Maybe it's just the excitement of all the things I want to do, starting today... Yesterday afternoon I got my scholarship and finally I will be able to pay all my debts, so I'm eager to go to the bank and get rid of those bills. I know it means that I will be in bankrupcy again, but the satisfaction of not owing anything to anyone worths it.
I was thinking on writing down some of the things I'm learning at school, which I consider really cool, but I guess nobody wants to know about types of paint, painting techiniques, architecture laws in Japan, product certification, etc. So I guess I'll start another blog for this kind of stuff. Aaargh, I write too much but I cannot help it !
Few days ago I found a nice site www.clientcopia.com . It has tons of quotes from clients of designers... I've been laughing a lot, some are really atonishing, I was nodding almost all the time... you don't know what kind of people you have to deal with when you adventure yourself to the web-world :)
So long ! Don't spend too much time in that link as I did... I couldn't sleep until I finished reading the whole 613 quotes (and still growing!)
September 22, 2004
Recuerdos de primavera
Today is the spring coming day in my country, Paraguay. It's also the youth day and we don't have classes at school :D So it's a very special day for us...
... Varias primaveras ....
Como se festeja ahora el dia de la primavera? Hace tiempo que no lo hago (y no porque este vieja.. ) tal vez porque ya no es lo mismo. Recuerdo mi primer "dia de la primavera y de la juventud" ... Fue en primer curso: nos habiamos encontrado con mis amigas Gianni, Laura y Ana frente al colegio (ese dia fue asueto) y fuimos caminando hasta el centro. Fuimos a "palmear". La calle Palma los dias sabados era un lugar de encuentro para todos los jovenes. Uno siempre tenia la oportunidad de encontrarse con los amigos, ya fueran de otros colegios y tambien era una chance de hacer nuevas amistades. Ese dia hubo un monton de gente, un festival de rock en el cual no nos quedamos porque no eramos tan hardcore en esa epoca... Tomamos un helado en 4d y nos fuimos al mall (mall excelsior). Ahi vimos una pelicula, no recuerdo cual fue... eso ya no importa ahora. Luego fuimos al shopping Mcal. Lopez que acababa de inaugurarse y tenia poquisima gente... ahi nos regalaron una rosa a cada una. Todavia tengo la rosa seca en mi casa!
Queriamos hacer algo divertido y diferente; decidimos subir a los autitos chocadores! Al principio teniamos verguenza.. con nuestra edad y jugando juego de ninhos pequenhos... pero nada importaba, estabamos en un grupo y en unos anhos nadie recordaria a 4 nenas grandecitas jugando un juego de bebes. Pero no fue asi... yo aun lo recuerdo como si fuera ayer. Me diverti tanto que ese dia se va a quedar para siempre en mi memoria.
No se si mis amigas, las cuatro inseparabales lo recuerdan todavia. No se si mis amigas me recuerdan todavia... El tiempo paso y nos separamos, cada una siguio su camino... Yo no se donde estan fisicamente pero el recuerdo de los tiempos que pasamos juntas siguen conmigo.
Me gustaria volver el tiempo atras y vivir nuevamente esos dias en que nuestro mayor problema era pasar o no de anho ... o ni siquiera eso; eramos las mas destacadas del curso (jajaja) Y tambien las que mas se divertian. Nunca fui una chica popular, no era linda ni "cool", pero con amigas como las que tuve en el basico no necesitaba serlo. Extranho esos tiempos, pero como se que no podria viajar al pasado aunque quisiera, lo unico que me queda es seguir creando momentos a los cuales quisiera volver cuando sea mas vieja :)
... Varias primaveras ....
Como se festeja ahora el dia de la primavera? Hace tiempo que no lo hago (y no porque este vieja.. ) tal vez porque ya no es lo mismo. Recuerdo mi primer "dia de la primavera y de la juventud" ... Fue en primer curso: nos habiamos encontrado con mis amigas Gianni, Laura y Ana frente al colegio (ese dia fue asueto) y fuimos caminando hasta el centro. Fuimos a "palmear". La calle Palma los dias sabados era un lugar de encuentro para todos los jovenes. Uno siempre tenia la oportunidad de encontrarse con los amigos, ya fueran de otros colegios y tambien era una chance de hacer nuevas amistades. Ese dia hubo un monton de gente, un festival de rock en el cual no nos quedamos porque no eramos tan hardcore en esa epoca... Tomamos un helado en 4d y nos fuimos al mall (mall excelsior). Ahi vimos una pelicula, no recuerdo cual fue... eso ya no importa ahora. Luego fuimos al shopping Mcal. Lopez que acababa de inaugurarse y tenia poquisima gente... ahi nos regalaron una rosa a cada una. Todavia tengo la rosa seca en mi casa!
Queriamos hacer algo divertido y diferente; decidimos subir a los autitos chocadores! Al principio teniamos verguenza.. con nuestra edad y jugando juego de ninhos pequenhos... pero nada importaba, estabamos en un grupo y en unos anhos nadie recordaria a 4 nenas grandecitas jugando un juego de bebes. Pero no fue asi... yo aun lo recuerdo como si fuera ayer. Me diverti tanto que ese dia se va a quedar para siempre en mi memoria.
No se si mis amigas, las cuatro inseparabales lo recuerdan todavia. No se si mis amigas me recuerdan todavia... El tiempo paso y nos separamos, cada una siguio su camino... Yo no se donde estan fisicamente pero el recuerdo de los tiempos que pasamos juntas siguen conmigo.
Me gustaria volver el tiempo atras y vivir nuevamente esos dias en que nuestro mayor problema era pasar o no de anho ... o ni siquiera eso; eramos las mas destacadas del curso (jajaja) Y tambien las que mas se divertian. Nunca fui una chica popular, no era linda ni "cool", pero con amigas como las que tuve en el basico no necesitaba serlo. Extranho esos tiempos, pero como se que no podria viajar al pasado aunque quisiera, lo unico que me queda es seguir creando momentos a los cuales quisiera volver cuando sea mas vieja :)
September 21, 2004
Fashion freaks
Winter is coming and all the shops are trying to show their best to sell. Today I went to Ginza and checked some of the shops. It's not like I'm interested in fashion but sometimes is fun to walk around like I care :P . What I realised was that nothing's the same as last year and if you're dumb enough, you can think that you need lots of new clothes. But how many jackets do you need in one winter? For how long can you wear the same pants before they get torn? I mean, you don't need new clothes after using what you have for 3 months or so...
Don't get me wrong, I like wearing new clothes, I'm a girl after all. But this consumist society is too much! It's ok to get new clothes on special occasions (not necessary though) but buying for every season of the year is not. I was one of those dumbs before... I tortured my parents by asking them a new dress before every party, but after I came to Japan I realised that I didn't need them. I'm wearing the same clothes for a long time, I've been here for more than a year and half and nobody cares about how I dress. (Or is it just me?) Anyways, there are so many girls dressing the same, having the same Louis Vuitton's bag, for those people who doesn't know, the LV bags costs around 100.000 Yen (about 800 ~ 900 US$). I wouldn't buy them even if I was swimming in a pool full of money. I just don't like to be the same as the rest.
How can they afford it? You may think all japanese are ultra rich people, but that's not really true. At least not and 17 ~ 25 years old girl. Some might work or ask their parents and get it, but there's a dark side in all of this fashion thing. Many of these girls accept going out with old men just to get what they want. Isn't this sad? I see really cute girls with man way older than them and after asking some japanese about this situation, they just told me that this is a common scene in japanese society... and it's all to afford these branded stuff.
I know I am nobody but I'm very worried about Japan's future with these kind of people growing in number, it will be just sad to lose all what they have gained through so many years. Well, just my humble opinion...
Don't get me wrong, I like wearing new clothes, I'm a girl after all. But this consumist society is too much! It's ok to get new clothes on special occasions (not necessary though) but buying for every season of the year is not. I was one of those dumbs before... I tortured my parents by asking them a new dress before every party, but after I came to Japan I realised that I didn't need them. I'm wearing the same clothes for a long time, I've been here for more than a year and half and nobody cares about how I dress. (Or is it just me?) Anyways, there are so many girls dressing the same, having the same Louis Vuitton's bag, for those people who doesn't know, the LV bags costs around 100.000 Yen (about 800 ~ 900 US$). I wouldn't buy them even if I was swimming in a pool full of money. I just don't like to be the same as the rest.
How can they afford it? You may think all japanese are ultra rich people, but that's not really true. At least not and 17 ~ 25 years old girl. Some might work or ask their parents and get it, but there's a dark side in all of this fashion thing. Many of these girls accept going out with old men just to get what they want. Isn't this sad? I see really cute girls with man way older than them and after asking some japanese about this situation, they just told me that this is a common scene in japanese society... and it's all to afford these branded stuff.
I know I am nobody but I'm very worried about Japan's future with these kind of people growing in number, it will be just sad to lose all what they have gained through so many years. Well, just my humble opinion...
September 19, 2004
+ Guestmap - Email
After some weeks of having decided it, I finally put myself to migrate bravenet's guestmap to my own one in my server so it wouldn't have those annoying ads. I thought it would be simple.. but guess what: nothing is simple!! I started checking and testing some scripts without finding anything I really liked. So I was about to give up but I found a perfect one in Brainerror.
The script I got from brainerror is just great! But as I never leave the things like they are, I wanted a map with political divisions so I had to make my own. After I made it, I finished setting up the database in MySql (my first time in sql ... no more ms access). It took me a while but I could handle it. That was yesterday... now comes the bad part... As I was testing the guestmap, I filled the database with "test" entries so when it was ready to publish I had to erase those entries. But out of the blue I lost my "permission" to access my control panel and manage the database... I was pissed off because when I am in moods to do something, I NEED to do it... and because of this database thing I wouldn't be able to.
Anyways, found my way to overcome this problem .. there's always more than one way to do things :D !! I just created another database and moved the old data there (hahah.. anything's possible). But the main problem is that I cannot access to my control panel and the mail server is not working either which pisses me off the most, I cannot read my emails !!!!! **MAD** (not that I was getting many mails, but you know...)
Well ... this was my weekend's story and now you can post your messages in my brand-new fully functional guestmap :D Just give it a try !
The script I got from brainerror is just great! But as I never leave the things like they are, I wanted a map with political divisions so I had to make my own. After I made it, I finished setting up the database in MySql (my first time in sql ... no more ms access). It took me a while but I could handle it. That was yesterday... now comes the bad part... As I was testing the guestmap, I filled the database with "test" entries so when it was ready to publish I had to erase those entries. But out of the blue I lost my "permission" to access my control panel and manage the database... I was pissed off because when I am in moods to do something, I NEED to do it... and because of this database thing I wouldn't be able to.
Anyways, found my way to overcome this problem .. there's always more than one way to do things :D !! I just created another database and moved the old data there (hahah.. anything's possible). But the main problem is that I cannot access to my control panel and the mail server is not working either which pisses me off the most, I cannot read my emails !!!!! **MAD** (not that I was getting many mails, but you know...)
Well ... this was my weekend's story and now you can post your messages in my brand-new fully functional guestmap :D Just give it a try !
September 14, 2004
inconsistency sos
The only thing I'm consistent in is in my inconsistency. I don't change my mind easily but my moods are up & down all the time. I can be super duper happy and then really down. Anyone knows any medicine for this?
Small details in my life can switch on/off my angel and demons inside. I know this is just part od being human, but (as most people does) I think my case is worse for I'm afraid of doing something really stupid in one of this switches. I just want to finish growing up ..if this is attributed to the teen-ages (hahaha I'm considering myself a teenager!)
I'm still not the person I want to be, takes a lot! I just hope to be reading this with a grin in some years instead of thinking that I didn't change at all, not any progresses.
Anyways, I want to thank all my friends supporting me day by day, listening to me moaning and trying to switch me into happy-mode. I might be hopeless but I really appreciate you guys being there! I don't know if I'd have the patience to be with someone like me :P
Small details in my life can switch on/off my angel and demons inside. I know this is just part od being human, but (as most people does) I think my case is worse for I'm afraid of doing something really stupid in one of this switches. I just want to finish growing up ..if this is attributed to the teen-ages (hahaha I'm considering myself a teenager!)
I'm still not the person I want to be, takes a lot! I just hope to be reading this with a grin in some years instead of thinking that I didn't change at all, not any progresses.
Anyways, I want to thank all my friends supporting me day by day, listening to me moaning and trying to switch me into happy-mode. I might be hopeless but I really appreciate you guys being there! I don't know if I'd have the patience to be with someone like me :P
Dazed and Confused
I've seen this 1993's movie some days ago and I loved it! I don't know why I haven't seen it before... It doesn't have special effects, tricky story, a surprise element... it's just like that.. simple like shooting your group of friends from high school, you might identify each one of them. It's about american teenagers in the 70's, not an american teenager's movie. They do stupid things, but not the type of things like putting bobby into a pie or so...
It brought me memories from some years ago (not THAT many!) the welcome ceremony for freshman, driving around the city with your mates, organizing parties, being scolded by your parents and so on.
What I liked best was the soundtrack, I definitely like 70's rock. Alice Cooper, Deep Purple, Foghat, Lynard Skynard, Judas Priest, The Doors, Kiss, U2.. WHOA!! I wish I was born in my parent's time.. but then I wouldn't be here now. I envy them for they had the chance to live in those times... but who knows, maybe my kids (if I ever have!) would be feeling the same about the 90's , which I don't hate ;) Maybe it's about how and not when you live your "old times". And I guess I wouldn't see Radiohead live!
It brought me memories from some years ago (not THAT many!) the welcome ceremony for freshman, driving around the city with your mates, organizing parties, being scolded by your parents and so on.
What I liked best was the soundtrack, I definitely like 70's rock. Alice Cooper, Deep Purple, Foghat, Lynard Skynard, Judas Priest, The Doors, Kiss, U2.. WHOA!! I wish I was born in my parent's time.. but then I wouldn't be here now. I envy them for they had the chance to live in those times... but who knows, maybe my kids (if I ever have!) would be feeling the same about the 90's , which I don't hate ;) Maybe it's about how and not when you live your "old times". And I guess I wouldn't see Radiohead live!
September 09, 2004
Chicken Wings
Hey there! I've been writing a lot lately... but it's all php! ;) Anyways, if you want to read it just wait a little more.. the site is still in beta fase . This is where Stefan (a friend I met in Tokyo) publishes the comics he creates with his brother, "Chicken Wings". (Now that I'm hungry the name sounds delicious, but you'll see that reading the comics is even better!) The site is colorful, it has nice characters and you can even get merchandise from the comics.
The stories are about Chuck, a cool and funny pilot; Julio, a witty mechanic; Sally, the hot chick and their big boss Hans. I could tell you some situations but I guess it's better if you check it by yourself: you won't regret !
What I did there: just gave a hand to organize and display the comic strips by date and wrote a script to personalize the post-signatures according to the poster. It sounds really simple (and it actually is...) but it's been along time since my last romantic date with my dear php and I had to re-remember some stuff, which was great because I started to forget how much I used to like it.
Aaanyways, I'm starting to unfocus (as usual) ... so, I just wanted to give TWO WINGS UP! to this project and give them a visit :)
The stories are about Chuck, a cool and funny pilot; Julio, a witty mechanic; Sally, the hot chick and their big boss Hans. I could tell you some situations but I guess it's better if you check it by yourself: you won't regret !
What I did there: just gave a hand to organize and display the comic strips by date and wrote a script to personalize the post-signatures according to the poster. It sounds really simple (and it actually is...) but it's been along time since my last romantic date with my dear php and I had to re-remember some stuff, which was great because I started to forget how much I used to like it.
Aaanyways, I'm starting to unfocus (as usual) ... so, I just wanted to give TWO WINGS UP! to this project and give them a visit :)
August 24, 2004
Summer vacations' snaps
This summer vacation was unforgettable! I went to visit my friends in Thailand and Malaysia and went around their beautiful countries. I'm still writing my memories, but you can see some of the places I had the pleasure to visit:
Flore, Sung and I in Khao San Road... the place where Leonardo DiCaprio started his journey in the movie "The beach"
Turquoise water ! Redang Marine Park
Sung and I in Wat Arun Ratchawararam (Arun Royal Temple)
Like a fish in the water .. Lorena and Yen in Redang ><)))'>
Star-gazing in the beach... Pulau Redang, Malaysia
Lorena, Flore and Yen in KLCC, Petronas Twin Towers, once tallest buildings in the world, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Taking a Tuk tuk after shopping in Bangkok
In Phanom Rung, Natkonratchasima Province, Thailand
August 10, 2004
The worst day of my life
August 9th, 2004: The worst day of my life (so far). Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
2 hours sleep. Maybe less. I am used to it, but not to face a horrible day like today.
6.30 am Flore and I arrived at the KLIA airport and tried to check-in. After waiting for at least an hour and making the other passengers wait and hate us, we were told that our Visa/Reentry permit is not valid. I was so sure that there was a big mistake because I applied for the reentry in order to not have this problem. I was so confident and after a long time waiting, they said that we couldn't board the plane. WHAT'S THAT?! I wasn't aware of what was waiting for us.
8.30 am We already lost the plane. But I thought we could get the next one (like it was a bus or so.. haha) Too positive. FInally they sent us to the Thai Embassy in Kuala Lumpur. One staff from AirAsia was "kind" to bring us to the bus stop and get discounted tickets for us. Suddenly, he was being too kind asking about us, about what we do. He gave us Thai Embassy's address and we headed there.
After having a bad time to get a taxi, we finally got to the place that was written in the paper. It was a big luxurious building and something was telling me that it was too luxurious to be an embassy. It was Thai Airlines' main building!! I just didn't know how to express my anger at that moment. The only thing that I could do was asking for the correct address.
Once I got the address, we went to the real Thai embassy to get our problem fixed, and I was still confident. Maybe just a few checks and problem gone. But I was so wrong! They just told us that we got scammed at the airport by the Thai Immigration Office... that was too much! We just needed to complain at the same place we got the reentry. I just wanted to wake up. Now I decided to go definitely to Koh Samui, I know I must do it or else I won't be satisfied. I want some peace. Forget everything. I need to breathe new air, go to a different place, be surrounded by different people.
That wasn't all... later we had to call the guy from AirAsia to confirm our flight change and set the new departure. He didn't hesitate to ask us to go out with him, to meet him. Ha ha !! Is he nuts? I don't wanna see the city anymore, I just wanna rest and he's asking this. We are never that desperated. No way. I could just sleep on the streets. It's amazing how some people try to take advantage on others' disgraces.
I felt so ashamed to ask my friend again to host us after all the things she and her family kindly did for us... but I didn't have another chance. And, it's better than begging some stranger. I feel so bad... I just want this day to end.
2 hours sleep. Maybe less. I am used to it, but not to face a horrible day like today.
6.30 am Flore and I arrived at the KLIA airport and tried to check-in. After waiting for at least an hour and making the other passengers wait and hate us, we were told that our Visa/Reentry permit is not valid. I was so sure that there was a big mistake because I applied for the reentry in order to not have this problem. I was so confident and after a long time waiting, they said that we couldn't board the plane. WHAT'S THAT?! I wasn't aware of what was waiting for us.
8.30 am We already lost the plane. But I thought we could get the next one (like it was a bus or so.. haha) Too positive. FInally they sent us to the Thai Embassy in Kuala Lumpur. One staff from AirAsia was "kind" to bring us to the bus stop and get discounted tickets for us. Suddenly, he was being too kind asking about us, about what we do. He gave us Thai Embassy's address and we headed there.
After having a bad time to get a taxi, we finally got to the place that was written in the paper. It was a big luxurious building and something was telling me that it was too luxurious to be an embassy. It was Thai Airlines' main building!! I just didn't know how to express my anger at that moment. The only thing that I could do was asking for the correct address.
Once I got the address, we went to the real Thai embassy to get our problem fixed, and I was still confident. Maybe just a few checks and problem gone. But I was so wrong! They just told us that we got scammed at the airport by the Thai Immigration Office... that was too much! We just needed to complain at the same place we got the reentry. I just wanted to wake up. Now I decided to go definitely to Koh Samui, I know I must do it or else I won't be satisfied. I want some peace. Forget everything. I need to breathe new air, go to a different place, be surrounded by different people.
That wasn't all... later we had to call the guy from AirAsia to confirm our flight change and set the new departure. He didn't hesitate to ask us to go out with him, to meet him. Ha ha !! Is he nuts? I don't wanna see the city anymore, I just wanna rest and he's asking this. We are never that desperated. No way. I could just sleep on the streets. It's amazing how some people try to take advantage on others' disgraces.
I felt so ashamed to ask my friend again to host us after all the things she and her family kindly did for us... but I didn't have another chance. And, it's better than begging some stranger. I feel so bad... I just want this day to end.
July 28, 2004
Rock Odyssey, 2004
On Sunday, July 25th, the Yokohama Stadium (venue for last Soccer World Cup's Final match) was filled with about 50,000 fans of rock music who went to enjoy a full day of rock!
My friends and I woke up unusually early for a sunday morning because we had to be in Yokohama by 9 am. We didn't want to miss any details. Packed some frozen water which we prepared the night before, made sure we had our tickets, a cap and towell because we knew it would be a HOT day ... not only because of the sun, but because we would be warming our bodies jumping around, singing and trying to not get killed by the crowd.
The first band playing was "HY", an okinawan band. I was familiar to 3 of their songs and I liked them, so at least I was able to sing along ;) Then it was TRAPT's turn, to tell the truth, I didn't really know them. It's a californian band that was around for 10 years and finally released. They played many times as Papa Roach's supporting band. "Headstrong" their cd's opening track was the best performed song in the concert, followed by "Echo".. just my opinion.
At 13.10 Black Eyed Peas grabbed the mic and they got us retarded ;) This band's style (hip hop) is not one of my favs but I really enjoyed the show, they perform excellently on stage. They made the public dance and jump with "Hey mama", "Let's get restarted", "Shut up". What I would change about it is Fergie's singing, I mean... we all know she was a great voice but she didn't need to overdoze us with it.
L'Arc en Ciel's turn was at 14.20. This is a japanese band from whom I was expecting a lot more. I don't know if it was made on purpose but they used too much distorsion and the sound was hurting my ears. It was too hot at the stadium and I started feeling dizzy, so I took a nap during their concert (shame on me!)
Then it was Lenny Kravitz's turn!! This gentleman offered us a great show, he even went into the crowd, said some words in japanese and asked a translator to tell the public what he wanted to say. I think it was a nice detail. Don't talk about his show, he even played some drums for us! A song from his new album that I can recall is "California", and the rest were songs we already know very well.
Finally, after Lenny Kravitz's show Red Hot Chili Peppers went on stage !!! I couldn't believe my eyes! I sung all the songs, laughed with their jokes although some were bad ... haha. Something I really liked was Flea's performance... He played the trumpet in a way I've never heard the trumpet. It sounded like a cry, a beautiful cry. I was vibrating with the concert. I admire these artists that are able to make us feel alive with their music, art or whatever form of expression.
In the end, this wasn't actually a report about the concert, but just some thoughts. I think that the best place to watch a concert would be Japan because of the quality of the sound system and the organization... but I'm sure I wouldn't go to Woodstock if it was held in Japan... it just wouldn't be the same...
My friends and I woke up unusually early for a sunday morning because we had to be in Yokohama by 9 am. We didn't want to miss any details. Packed some frozen water which we prepared the night before, made sure we had our tickets, a cap and towell because we knew it would be a HOT day ... not only because of the sun, but because we would be warming our bodies jumping around, singing and trying to not get killed by the crowd.
The first band playing was "HY", an okinawan band. I was familiar to 3 of their songs and I liked them, so at least I was able to sing along ;) Then it was TRAPT's turn, to tell the truth, I didn't really know them. It's a californian band that was around for 10 years and finally released. They played many times as Papa Roach's supporting band. "Headstrong" their cd's opening track was the best performed song in the concert, followed by "Echo".. just my opinion.
At 13.10 Black Eyed Peas grabbed the mic and they got us retarded ;) This band's style (hip hop) is not one of my favs but I really enjoyed the show, they perform excellently on stage. They made the public dance and jump with "Hey mama", "Let's get restarted", "Shut up". What I would change about it is Fergie's singing, I mean... we all know she was a great voice but she didn't need to overdoze us with it.
L'Arc en Ciel's turn was at 14.20. This is a japanese band from whom I was expecting a lot more. I don't know if it was made on purpose but they used too much distorsion and the sound was hurting my ears. It was too hot at the stadium and I started feeling dizzy, so I took a nap during their concert (shame on me!)
Then it was Lenny Kravitz's turn!! This gentleman offered us a great show, he even went into the crowd, said some words in japanese and asked a translator to tell the public what he wanted to say. I think it was a nice detail. Don't talk about his show, he even played some drums for us! A song from his new album that I can recall is "California", and the rest were songs we already know very well.
Finally, after Lenny Kravitz's show Red Hot Chili Peppers went on stage !!! I couldn't believe my eyes! I sung all the songs, laughed with their jokes although some were bad ... haha. Something I really liked was Flea's performance... He played the trumpet in a way I've never heard the trumpet. It sounded like a cry, a beautiful cry. I was vibrating with the concert. I admire these artists that are able to make us feel alive with their music, art or whatever form of expression.
In the end, this wasn't actually a report about the concert, but just some thoughts. I think that the best place to watch a concert would be Japan because of the quality of the sound system and the organization... but I'm sure I wouldn't go to Woodstock if it was held in Japan... it just wouldn't be the same...
July 14, 2004
sans titre
Canciones silenciadas,
abrazos no dados.
Palabras desperdiciadas...
Voy acumulando
día tras día en mi andar mundano.
Impulsos reprimidos,
caminos no andados.
Besos guardados...
Me van perturbando
noche tras noche cual arrepentimiento pagano.
Vida sobrevivida,
amores subestimados...
Una venida, dos idas.
Sentimientos ajenos que van quedando
en un corazón de piedra
tan mío, tan extraño.
abrazos no dados.
Palabras desperdiciadas...
Voy acumulando
día tras día en mi andar mundano.
Impulsos reprimidos,
caminos no andados.
Besos guardados...
Me van perturbando
noche tras noche cual arrepentimiento pagano.
Vida sobrevivida,
amores subestimados...
Una venida, dos idas.
Sentimientos ajenos que van quedando
en un corazón de piedra
tan mío, tan extraño.
July 12, 2004
Movies
I always liked to watch movies. I like the foreign and/or independent ones. When I was in Paraguay it was difficult to find the ones I wanted to watch because the video rental stores didn't have unusual movies, they just had the ones everybody wanted to rent like Hollywood production. I won't say all the movies made in Hollywood are bad, but I really prefer the simple-complicated stuff. Not too many guns, good dialogues. Now that I have a wonderful internet connection, I'm on a quest for good movies. Here's my list of some "better than average" movies.
- La vita e bella/Life is beautiful (1997) Wonderful italian movie about the WW2 and how a simple man gives his son a happy life during the war.
- The Matrix (1999) I liked the part one, maybe my geek side liked it ;) "There's no spoon". I liked the "philosophy" on it.
- Hable con ella/Talk to her (2002) Director Pedro Almodovar's spanish movie about a guy in love with a coma patient. I love the music in it.
- Requiem for a dream (2000) If I never planned to take drugs, after watching this movie I assured I wouldn't do it.
- Se7en (1995) Bloody but goody.
- Back to the future (1985) If someone said the sagas aren't good, this is an exception.
- The Goonies (1985) An adventure movie that is a must when you're a kid.
- Gattaca (1997) Futuristic movie, I liked the story.
- Pulp Fiction (1994) No comments needed. This movie is number 95 on the American Film Institute's list of America's 100 Greatest Movies
- Fight Club (1999) "You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durdeen.
- Forrest Gump (1994) This movie has a wonderful quote "I might be dumb but I know what is love" - Forrest
- The Sixth Sense (1999) You shouldn't believe all that you see.
- Almost Famous (2000) I love this movie, I don't know if it is because I love music, but I found this movie worthy of watching many times.
- Memento (2000) What can you do if you can remember only 10 minutes of your life?
- Lost Highway (1997) A movie you need to analyse to understand. And after you analyse it you have to analyse it again
- Cinema Paradiso (1989) Italian film about the magic of the movies.
- Lord of the Rings (2001-2002-2003): Who doesn't know about this saga? Everything is perfect but I prefer the book... I loved the book when I read it, and I didn't want to wait 3 years to see all the movies, but after these years, I stay with my "imaginary scenes".
- The Shawshank Redemption (1994) An excellent drama about an innocent man that was condemned for killing his wife.
- Face/Off (1997) Action movie with a bit of sf. A criminal and a police have their faces switched and their lives as well.
- Thirteen (2003) Drama about the problems of adolescence. I thinks this is closer to the reality than other movies that just show an immature bunch of kids.
- The Hole (2001) English movie. The first 40 minutes are kind of boring, but the switch of the story is really good. How many truths are there?
- Bedazzled (2000) A romantic comedy that shows that what you want is not always what you deserve. It made me laugh, smile and think a bit.
- Cidade de Deus/City of God (2002) A brazilian movie about the reality in the "fabelas". Shocking, a bit excessive but close to the reality that we are blinded to.
- Das Experiment/The Experiment (2002) German movie based on a true story of an experiment held in a prison to study the human behaviour.
- Lola rennt/Run Lola Run (1998) A good action movie, it's different and entertaining. German movie.
- Amelie (2001) French movie about Amelie Poulain, a girl with a great imagination. No bad situations, sometimes it's nice to see happy movies.
- Girl with a pearl earring (2003) The story behind a painting of Johannes Vermeer; "Girl with a pearl earring" has a beautiful photography and even though the story is not vivid, the beauty of the scenes are worthy.
- Amores Perros (2000) Love, hate and dogs are put together in this mexican movie. I don't know about the subtitles, but I saw it in spanish and I liked the movie.
- Abre los ojos/Open your eyes (1997): A spanish movie by Alejandro Amenabar. Abre los ojos is a psychological thriller about the power of the human mind to bend and break reality. The movie "Vanilla Sky" was based on this movie.
- 50 First Dates (2004) Romantic, comedy version of "Memento". About a girl who can remember only one day of her life and a guy who fell in love with her and has to deal with it. Fun and nice.
- Shaolin Soccer (2001) Chinese movie, it's so silly that makes you laugh the whole movie. I reccommend it :P
- The Ring (2002) I liked this movie better than the original version. Maybe because the story was clearer and I found it a bit scary.
- Final Destination 1 & 2 (2000-2003): Something wasn't good about the movies, but it made me be more careful about what I do because death could be anywhere.
- Cube (1998) and Cube 2: Hypercube (2002): Low budgeted sci fi movies but the story is so good that it overcomes the problem.
- The Butterfly Effect (2004) I like the philosophy of the movie, but they could have made it better.
- The Fast and the Furious (2001): I just love the cars, no good story. I could watch it many times just to hear the engines.
These are the ones I remember now, reccommend me any because I'm always in search for good movies :)
- La vita e bella/Life is beautiful (1997) Wonderful italian movie about the WW2 and how a simple man gives his son a happy life during the war.
- The Matrix (1999) I liked the part one, maybe my geek side liked it ;) "There's no spoon". I liked the "philosophy" on it.
- Hable con ella/Talk to her (2002) Director Pedro Almodovar's spanish movie about a guy in love with a coma patient. I love the music in it.
- Requiem for a dream (2000) If I never planned to take drugs, after watching this movie I assured I wouldn't do it.
- Se7en (1995) Bloody but goody.
- Back to the future (1985) If someone said the sagas aren't good, this is an exception.
- The Goonies (1985) An adventure movie that is a must when you're a kid.
- Gattaca (1997) Futuristic movie, I liked the story.
- Pulp Fiction (1994) No comments needed. This movie is number 95 on the American Film Institute's list of America's 100 Greatest Movies
- Fight Club (1999) "You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durdeen.
- Forrest Gump (1994) This movie has a wonderful quote "I might be dumb but I know what is love" - Forrest
- The Sixth Sense (1999) You shouldn't believe all that you see.
- Almost Famous (2000) I love this movie, I don't know if it is because I love music, but I found this movie worthy of watching many times.
- Memento (2000) What can you do if you can remember only 10 minutes of your life?
- Lost Highway (1997) A movie you need to analyse to understand. And after you analyse it you have to analyse it again
- Cinema Paradiso (1989) Italian film about the magic of the movies.
- Lord of the Rings (2001-2002-2003): Who doesn't know about this saga? Everything is perfect but I prefer the book... I loved the book when I read it, and I didn't want to wait 3 years to see all the movies, but after these years, I stay with my "imaginary scenes".
- The Shawshank Redemption (1994) An excellent drama about an innocent man that was condemned for killing his wife.
- Face/Off (1997) Action movie with a bit of sf. A criminal and a police have their faces switched and their lives as well.
- Thirteen (2003) Drama about the problems of adolescence. I thinks this is closer to the reality than other movies that just show an immature bunch of kids.
- The Hole (2001) English movie. The first 40 minutes are kind of boring, but the switch of the story is really good. How many truths are there?
- Bedazzled (2000) A romantic comedy that shows that what you want is not always what you deserve. It made me laugh, smile and think a bit.
- Cidade de Deus/City of God (2002) A brazilian movie about the reality in the "fabelas". Shocking, a bit excessive but close to the reality that we are blinded to.
- Das Experiment/The Experiment (2002) German movie based on a true story of an experiment held in a prison to study the human behaviour.
- Lola rennt/Run Lola Run (1998) A good action movie, it's different and entertaining. German movie.
- Amelie (2001) French movie about Amelie Poulain, a girl with a great imagination. No bad situations, sometimes it's nice to see happy movies.
- Girl with a pearl earring (2003) The story behind a painting of Johannes Vermeer; "Girl with a pearl earring" has a beautiful photography and even though the story is not vivid, the beauty of the scenes are worthy.
- Amores Perros (2000) Love, hate and dogs are put together in this mexican movie. I don't know about the subtitles, but I saw it in spanish and I liked the movie.
- Abre los ojos/Open your eyes (1997): A spanish movie by Alejandro Amenabar. Abre los ojos is a psychological thriller about the power of the human mind to bend and break reality. The movie "Vanilla Sky" was based on this movie.
- 50 First Dates (2004) Romantic, comedy version of "Memento". About a girl who can remember only one day of her life and a guy who fell in love with her and has to deal with it. Fun and nice.
- Shaolin Soccer (2001) Chinese movie, it's so silly that makes you laugh the whole movie. I reccommend it :P
- The Ring (2002) I liked this movie better than the original version. Maybe because the story was clearer and I found it a bit scary.
- Final Destination 1 & 2 (2000-2003): Something wasn't good about the movies, but it made me be more careful about what I do because death could be anywhere.
- Cube (1998) and Cube 2: Hypercube (2002): Low budgeted sci fi movies but the story is so good that it overcomes the problem.
- The Butterfly Effect (2004) I like the philosophy of the movie, but they could have made it better.
- The Fast and the Furious (2001): I just love the cars, no good story. I could watch it many times just to hear the engines.
These are the ones I remember now, reccommend me any because I'm always in search for good movies :)
July 08, 2004
You are in love.
I received a mail from a friend and I was thinking on how the "poetry" had changed these says. They don't mention any balcony, love letters, star sightings. They talk about emails, phone calls and movies :) Anyways, I just wanted to share this because it made me smile.
"
When you are together with that special someone,
you pretend to ignore that person.
But when that special someone is not around, you
might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.
Although there is someone else who always makes
you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only
to that special someone. Then, you are in love.
Although that special someone was supposed to
have called you long back, to let you know of
their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are
desperately waiting for the call! At that
moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited for one short e-mail
from that special someone than other many long e-
mails, you are in love. When you find yourself
as one who cannot erase all the messages in your
phone because of all the messages are from that
special someone, you are in love.
When you want to watch a romantic movie, you
would not hesitate to think of that special
someone. Then, you are in love. You keep telling
yourself, gthat special someone is just a
friendh, but you realize that you can not avoid
that person's special attraction. At that moment,
you are in love.
While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind, then u are in love with
that person.
:))
"
Thanks Monette for this! (she says this suits me .. haha)
"
When you are together with that special someone,
you pretend to ignore that person.
But when that special someone is not around, you
might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.
Although there is someone else who always makes
you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only
to that special someone. Then, you are in love.
Although that special someone was supposed to
have called you long back, to let you know of
their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are
desperately waiting for the call! At that
moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited for one short e-mail
from that special someone than other many long e-
mails, you are in love. When you find yourself
as one who cannot erase all the messages in your
phone because of all the messages are from that
special someone, you are in love.
When you want to watch a romantic movie, you
would not hesitate to think of that special
someone. Then, you are in love. You keep telling
yourself, gthat special someone is just a
friendh, but you realize that you can not avoid
that person's special attraction. At that moment,
you are in love.
While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind, then u are in love with
that person.
:))
"
Thanks Monette for this! (she says this suits me .. haha)
July 05, 2004
International Food Festival
I had a great time cooking with my friends some paraguayan food for the festival. It was great, 24 countries were represented and I could say that I have no problems to eat around the world. I couldn't taste all the food (24 is a quite big number, and besides, I was busy selling my own food).
I shared one stand with Flore and Darlene. It was nice because we were already friends and had no problems to share. Flore and I started preparing the food the night before because we had to make it for 100 people :O but fortunately Monette and Yen helped us and we learned others countries' recipes, sung a lot together, danced too ;) We converted the kitchen into a mini dance floor.
The food was all sold, people liked our stuff (at least that's what they said) and we had the opportunity to travel without moving.
Our menu was:
1. Fried bananas with sardines in tomato sauce (Ivory Coast)
2. Fried bananas with chicken and pork (Ivory Coast)
3. Peanut soup with rice (Ivory Coast)
4. Black rice with beans (Haiti)
5. Empanadas de carne y huevo (Paraguay)
Drinks
1. Bissap juice (bissap + pineapple + strawberry + mint) (Ivory Coast) * Reccommended it's really good
2. Mate cocido (cold version) (tea made of Yerba Mate and sugar) (Paraguay) *Delicious with milk
Some pictures !!
Darlene (Haiti), Flore (Ivory Coast), Monette (Philippines), Yen (Malaysia), me (Paraguay) in our stand
the night before ... preparing empanadas
See all the pictures in my Imagestation album
If you don't have an Imagestation account and don't want to create one, use this:
Login: divagues
Password: divagues
I shared one stand with Flore and Darlene. It was nice because we were already friends and had no problems to share. Flore and I started preparing the food the night before because we had to make it for 100 people :O but fortunately Monette and Yen helped us and we learned others countries' recipes, sung a lot together, danced too ;) We converted the kitchen into a mini dance floor.
The food was all sold, people liked our stuff (at least that's what they said) and we had the opportunity to travel without moving.
Our menu was:
1. Fried bananas with sardines in tomato sauce (Ivory Coast)
2. Fried bananas with chicken and pork (Ivory Coast)
3. Peanut soup with rice (Ivory Coast)
4. Black rice with beans (Haiti)
5. Empanadas de carne y huevo (Paraguay)
Drinks
1. Bissap juice (bissap + pineapple + strawberry + mint) (Ivory Coast) * Reccommended it's really good
2. Mate cocido (cold version) (tea made of Yerba Mate and sugar) (Paraguay) *Delicious with milk
Some pictures !!
Darlene (Haiti), Flore (Ivory Coast), Monette (Philippines), Yen (Malaysia), me (Paraguay) in our stand
the night before ... preparing empanadas
See all the pictures in my Imagestation album
If you don't have an Imagestation account and don't want to create one, use this:
Login: divagues
Password: divagues
July 02, 2004
Finally!
After some (long) time, I'm fixing my site... I want to add more content but at least there's something :) . Some friends asked me to translate the posts written in spanish, and some other friends asked me to post everything in español .. what can I do? Well, I'll do my best to have everything in both spanish and english, but I cannot promise anything.
July 01, 2004
a comic strip I love
Well, this is how I feel sometimes and the reason of many man saying women are not easy to understand :P
June 20, 2004
My places in Osaka
It's not easy to choose only a few places that I like in my "furusato". I spent my first year in Japan's second biggest city and I had a wonderful time. I like variety, so I'll try to make a good selection. You can start going to Umeda, try the HEP Five's Ferris Wheel (which is located on the top of HEP Navio's building, yes, ON the building), then to Sky Building where you can get a nice view of Osaka. Around here you can have a coffee (althought I prefer cocoa) at Christon's Cafe, a european church style restaurant (italian/japanese food).. it's a bit expensive but at least you can check the interior. There's also Daibutsu Kokoro, a japanese restaurant with a big Buddha statue in the center, which is the main attraction.
One thing I liked on weekends was biking around Nanko Port, go from Tengachaya to the port, it's around 12 kms. It's very nice to go specially in winter afternoons because it's not hot and the sunset is more beutiful. Once you're in the port, you can see some jellyfish (cool in different colours) and spend a good time meditating (or not).
Once a month, there's a huge fleamarket in Banpaku Kinen Koen where you can get useful used stuff for decoration or good old music.
I had the best junk food in Kandaimae, GB's Cafe. Big plate of hamburguer, potatoes and icecream for less than 800 yen. My favorites were the mexican style and the hindy style. But the best of this place was the music, every time I went I was remembering the 'old good times' listening to those forgotten songs I used to like.
Ola Tacos is the place I went for real mexican food, the owner is japanese, but he has lived in Mexico for a long time and he cooks very well! Even my mexican friends said it :O And he was playing latin music specially for us, giving us free tequila shots, transforming the place into a little Mexico. Oh, I miss those days!
Hahaha... now that I realise, it seems like all my good places are related to food & music :P Well, there's a phrase in spanish "Barriguita llena, corazon contento" it means "Full belly, happy heart".
For quiet moments, I used to go to Minami Senri's Park around my dorm, took a lantern, a guitar and went to practice some songs in the top of the hill, it's a shame I still cannot play the guitar. I just pass my fingers thorough the strings but never sounds like anything familiar X(
Well, I hope I remember more places to add in this text.
One thing I liked on weekends was biking around Nanko Port, go from Tengachaya to the port, it's around 12 kms. It's very nice to go specially in winter afternoons because it's not hot and the sunset is more beutiful. Once you're in the port, you can see some jellyfish (cool in different colours) and spend a good time meditating (or not).
Once a month, there's a huge fleamarket in Banpaku Kinen Koen where you can get useful used stuff for decoration or good old music.
I had the best junk food in Kandaimae, GB's Cafe. Big plate of hamburguer, potatoes and icecream for less than 800 yen. My favorites were the mexican style and the hindy style. But the best of this place was the music, every time I went I was remembering the 'old good times' listening to those forgotten songs I used to like.
Ola Tacos is the place I went for real mexican food, the owner is japanese, but he has lived in Mexico for a long time and he cooks very well! Even my mexican friends said it :O And he was playing latin music specially for us, giving us free tequila shots, transforming the place into a little Mexico. Oh, I miss those days!
Hahaha... now that I realise, it seems like all my good places are related to food & music :P Well, there's a phrase in spanish "Barriguita llena, corazon contento" it means "Full belly, happy heart".
For quiet moments, I used to go to Minami Senri's Park around my dorm, took a lantern, a guitar and went to practice some songs in the top of the hill, it's a shame I still cannot play the guitar. I just pass my fingers thorough the strings but never sounds like anything familiar X(
Well, I hope I remember more places to add in this text.
January 21, 2004
Locura/Madness
Hace tiempo atrás estaba fascinada con la idea de la locura. Soy normal a simple vista, pero mi mente está inundada de ideas descabelladas y mi alma de sentimientos desencontrados. Aunque pensándolo bien, todos aparentamos ser normales a simple vista... no puedo afirmar que los otros no son iguales a mí.
Nunca me ofendí cuando alguien me decía "estás loca", es más, me gustaba; me hacía sentir única. Pero hoy... hoy ví en el tren a una señora de mediana edad hablando sola y discutiendo con un ser invisible para nosotros. Los demás pasajeros la miraban de una manera en que a mí no me gustaría ser mirada jamás.
Yo sé bien que la locura que me atraía no es la misma de la señora, -la locura clínica-, pero es locura al fin. Y ahora que me doy cuenta de lo que estuve deseando, me arrepiento. El interlocutor de la señora no era el único invisible: ella también lo era. A pesar de las miradas, todas ellas eran vacías, sus vidas no habían sido tocadas por aquella pasajera.
No deseo pasar por este mundo sin dejar mi marca, no quiero ser invisible (ni tener amigos invisibles). Sé que nadie morirá con mi muerte, pero quisiera que al menos alguien se percate de ello.
Veinte años en la historia del mundo no significan nada; una milésima de segundo en la edad del universo, una gota en el inmenso océano. Una gota salada pero que al menos moja.
No quiero ser olvidada, me costó mucho llegar a donde estoy. Por eso escribo... para demostrar que estoy viva. Soy más que unos kilos de carne con movilidad propia.
\\\\\\\\\ MADNESS \\\\\\\\
Some time ago I was fascinated by the idea of madness. I look normal when people see me, but my mind is full of disarranged ideas and my soul is full of lost feelings. But giving it a good thought, everybody seem to be normal... so I cannot assure that they are different from me.
People used to say I was crazy and I never took it as an offense. Moreover, it made me feel unique. But today, today I saw a middle-aged woman on the train talking alone and arguing with someone invisible for us. The other passengers were looking at her in a way I would never want to be looked at.
I know that the madness I was attracted to it is not the same as the ladie's, - a clinical madness -, but it is madness after all. Now that I realize what I was wishing for, I regret. The ladie's interlocutor was not the only invisible: she was invisible as well. In spite of the gazes, all of them were empty; their lives were not touched by that passenger.
I do not want to pass through this world without leaving my mark; I do not want to be invisible (nor I want to have invisible friends). I know that nobody will die with my death, but I least I want someone to realize I am not here.
Twenty years in the history of the Earth are nothing, a millisecond in the age of the universe, a drop of water in the huge ocean. A salty drop that wets.
I do no want to be forgotten, it was not easy to get where I am. That is why I write... to show the world I am alive. I am more than some pounds of flesh and bone.
Nunca me ofendí cuando alguien me decía "estás loca", es más, me gustaba; me hacía sentir única. Pero hoy... hoy ví en el tren a una señora de mediana edad hablando sola y discutiendo con un ser invisible para nosotros. Los demás pasajeros la miraban de una manera en que a mí no me gustaría ser mirada jamás.
Yo sé bien que la locura que me atraía no es la misma de la señora, -la locura clínica-, pero es locura al fin. Y ahora que me doy cuenta de lo que estuve deseando, me arrepiento. El interlocutor de la señora no era el único invisible: ella también lo era. A pesar de las miradas, todas ellas eran vacías, sus vidas no habían sido tocadas por aquella pasajera.
No deseo pasar por este mundo sin dejar mi marca, no quiero ser invisible (ni tener amigos invisibles). Sé que nadie morirá con mi muerte, pero quisiera que al menos alguien se percate de ello.
Veinte años en la historia del mundo no significan nada; una milésima de segundo en la edad del universo, una gota en el inmenso océano. Una gota salada pero que al menos moja.
No quiero ser olvidada, me costó mucho llegar a donde estoy. Por eso escribo... para demostrar que estoy viva. Soy más que unos kilos de carne con movilidad propia.
\\\\\\\\\ MADNESS \\\\\\\\
Some time ago I was fascinated by the idea of madness. I look normal when people see me, but my mind is full of disarranged ideas and my soul is full of lost feelings. But giving it a good thought, everybody seem to be normal... so I cannot assure that they are different from me.
People used to say I was crazy and I never took it as an offense. Moreover, it made me feel unique. But today, today I saw a middle-aged woman on the train talking alone and arguing with someone invisible for us. The other passengers were looking at her in a way I would never want to be looked at.
I know that the madness I was attracted to it is not the same as the ladie's, - a clinical madness -, but it is madness after all. Now that I realize what I was wishing for, I regret. The ladie's interlocutor was not the only invisible: she was invisible as well. In spite of the gazes, all of them were empty; their lives were not touched by that passenger.
I do not want to pass through this world without leaving my mark; I do not want to be invisible (nor I want to have invisible friends). I know that nobody will die with my death, but I least I want someone to realize I am not here.
Twenty years in the history of the Earth are nothing, a millisecond in the age of the universe, a drop of water in the huge ocean. A salty drop that wets.
I do no want to be forgotten, it was not easy to get where I am. That is why I write... to show the world I am alive. I am more than some pounds of flesh and bone.
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